Freestyle Rap Battle Translated

Mr. Shark, what are your thoughts on global overfishing?

America needs "The Fighter with the Hard Left Hook."

Unfortunately for everyone, Steve Novick, who stands 4'9" and uses a hook prosthesis, barely lost in the Democratic primary for Senate in Oregon.
"The Fighter with the Hard Left Hook" was a campaign slogan for Novick and his website was Votehook.com
Aside from having a seemingly awesome sense of humor, it looks like he fights some good fights. Here's his wikipedia page.

McCain/Palin Supporters in Western PA, are well-educated, well-mannered, and definitely not racist.

Why settle for being a drunk who can't shave, when you could suffer from the Barber's rash and barrel fever?

Getting sick isn't as exciting it used to be. Here are some archaic medical terms with their definitions:


BARBER'S RASH or ITCH- Infection of hair folicles from contaminated razor



BARREL FEVER- Illness due to excessive drinking of alcohol




CANINE MADNESS- Rabies


COMMOTION- Concussion



JAIL FEVER-Typhus-


Typhus is actually one of the less serious things that could happen to you in prison.


KING'S EVIL-Scrofula, a tubercular infection of the throat lymph glands; also sometimes syphilis-

This is also how the royal subjects referred to the king making "number two."



WORM FIT-Convulsions associated with teething, worms, elevated temperature or diarrhea.







OR.....


An overpaid, whiny, temper-tantrum having freakshow.




DELIRIUM TREMENS - Hallucinations due to alcoholism


BRONZE JOHN- Yellow fever.

Movies that could have been adult films, based solely on their title.

"GIVE ME SOME OF THAT SWEET MOCHA ASS!"

Sure, everyone has moments when they don't look their best and it must be tough to always have cameras recording your every move, but this......... really?

Depending on your style, The Best or Worst album covers of all time:

Guys like him don't make it in prison.



The beginnings of "Emocore"

"Listen, you little emo-wanna-be myspace punks, stop whining about you relationship problems, high school drama, and family bullshit, ALL MY FRIENDS ARE DEAD!"--Freddie Gage




Neither The Who's nor Jimi Hendrix's post concert demolition of equipment could come close to "Elephant Rage"

Foster Edwards slept with every member of the band.




Are All Creepy.





Bandmates and Lovers

Unfortunately, Seymour became too stiff to work and was retired just 3 years after his career began.





Tex Williams died of cancer in 1985

Surprisingly enough, it wasn't lung cancer.




Followed up by the hit album "Live From Louisiana State Penitentiary"





Oh, how literal of you!


But did the chicks dig him? Here's Jonah Jones





Many men were already quite familiar with his inside story.





They Play By Ear ................... BOOOOOO!!!!!!





No, thank YOU, Mike Atkins.

(And a big thank you to my tens of thousands of loyal readers.)

It's safe to say, this manager disagreed with the call.

In what is probably the best baseball manager ejection of all time, Phil Wellman throws his hat, covers home plate, then creates a new larger home plate, physically steals third base, throws it into the outfield,army crawls to the pitcher's mound, picks up the rosin bag and throws it at the umpire like a grenade,then he then proceeds to eject the umpire, next, he goes and steals second, retrieves third, which he has already thrown, and finally blows kisses to the crowd as he exits through the outfield wall.

The three people that ruined my childhood- (In chronological order)

1.) Large Marge- She scared the crap out of a guy who lived alone and talked to furniture and other inanimate objects all day. What does that tell you?


To this day, I still don't like watching this scene of "Pee Wee's Big Adventure."



2.) "Zeebo the Clown" from "Are You Afraid of the Dark?"

As if clowns weren't scary enough already, Nickelodeon decided that a horrifying show was somehow the obvious choice to air after "Clarissa Explains it All," "Roundhouse," and "Ren and Stimpy."

3.) Joe Carter


- Sweet, sweet redemption is coming soon, but the damage was done.

McCain of the Hill and Peggy Palin

"Whoa" is right.

ATTN: Animals in Wheelchairs- I find your disability both unfortunate and ADOREABLE

"My Cat, Elvis, was involved in a tragic accident...." (Worth a minute or two of your time)-- ROBOCAT!


Blueberry, The Amazing Wheelchair bunny.(Has a very generous name)
"Moderately Amusing Wheelchair Bunny" would be more fitting.



One of the more famous wheelchair dogs.




Is this dog wearing leopard print?

Sadly, not all animals can have state of the art wheelchairs. I can only assume that this is how paraplegic dogs are treated in third world countries. (If they are lucky) *Tear.

Aren't you glad you didn't have your superman underwear tattooed on when you were 5?

This is what my dad used to tell me during the brief time I was pondering getting a tattoo years ago. If it came down to it, I think I would rather have superman underwear as a permanent part of my body, rather than Stephen Hawking.

Apparently, this guy does not share my view on the subject and actually had Stephen Hawking tattooed on his leg. On a positive note, Dr. Hawking can walk again.


Here's a link to the article: