Why settle for being a drunk who can't shave, when you could suffer from the Barber's rash and barrel fever?

Getting sick isn't as exciting it used to be. Here are some archaic medical terms with their definitions:


BARBER'S RASH or ITCH- Infection of hair folicles from contaminated razor



BARREL FEVER- Illness due to excessive drinking of alcohol




CANINE MADNESS- Rabies


COMMOTION- Concussion



JAIL FEVER-Typhus-


Typhus is actually one of the less serious things that could happen to you in prison.


KING'S EVIL-Scrofula, a tubercular infection of the throat lymph glands; also sometimes syphilis-

This is also how the royal subjects referred to the king making "number two."



WORM FIT-Convulsions associated with teething, worms, elevated temperature or diarrhea.







OR.....


An overpaid, whiny, temper-tantrum having freakshow.




DELIRIUM TREMENS - Hallucinations due to alcoholism


BRONZE JOHN- Yellow fever.