Senator Sessions "Gonna do that Crack Cocaine thing."

As first order of business for the G8 Summit.......

The world's leaders will eye-fuck Italian broads!




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Need a vacation? Why not OAKLAND?!?!?!

What better way to celebrate the fourth than to watch the best performance of our national anthem, EVER?

R.I.P. BILLY!

Well...... See you all in hell, I guess!

Goodnight, sweet prince

This segment was written so well that even Jimmy Fallon couldn't fuck it up

I apologize for the 30 second ad.

Next time you are about get handcuffed, tazed, and arrested , yell for YAWAHHHH

and you shall be released.

the US is the GREATEST MILITARY FORCE

and dance troupe IN THE WORLD!


Outkast's "Hey Ya"


Peanut butter Jelly Time in Iraq:

If you want to have a lot of sex in college, but don't want a job afterwards, may I recommend majoring in studio art?

Here is a chart representing Virginity rates among students by major


Source: Counterpoint magazine at Wellesley College

The high percentage of virgin Poli-sci majors is very surprising to me. I have a hunch that it will be the other 27% who could make it in Washington.

It's true, whether you like it or not.

Some people are just better than others.

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Tea party? Fine- but your stupidity will be mocked on the internet.